Irony First

I get a little mentally tongue-tied whenever I see that "Country First" McCain-Palin slogan. For good traditional capitalists and traditional conservatives, their interest is in keeping the government interference to a minimum and keeping the tax rates low. For such folks, it is unclear how they would place "Country First," unless the slogan is actually supposed to mean "Country [Club] First." You know, Barack Obama may preach change, but he never asked his supporters to place the country above themselves. The McCain-Palin campaign have been accusing that Obama's policies are socialist. Yet, the campaign failed to pick up on the delicious irony that their campaign slogan may be the most socialist political perspective of this presidential campaign.

Watching Palin stroke divisive flames from her "Country First" podium, I realized that I have misunderstood her all along. It is not the case that Palin fails to learn from and emulate important points history and politics. It's just that, being a busy soccer mom, she never gets the chance to finish the books. You know, I bet Palin is in the middle of reading the history of the World War II. She's picking up on all the right notes on how the Nazis used divisive and hateful rhetoric to centralized power. Once Palin finishes the book and see how World War II actually panned out, she will probably switch her political tactics accordingly. Cuntry First!

One other thought keeps reverberating in my mind on election eve - William Kristol of the New York Times is a raging douche bag. On a recent appearance on the Colbert Report, he dismisses the New York Times as a respectable news source, but neglecting to mention that the Times pay his undeserved salary. You know what kind of people do that? People who not only enjoy picking and eating their own boogers, but relishes telling people about the experience. His most recent article cheerfully explains why liberals should be happy if McCain pulls off the upset, including such profound insights such as "it would be a victory for an underdog" and "it would be a defeat for the establishment." Silly liberals, here they are, lamenting about absorbing the costs of unneeded wars and trying to make grasp the scope of the economic breakdown. But you know what? a continuation of Bush policies would be freakin awesome because liberals love underdogs... Is there any doubt that this guy likes the taste of boogers?